April Braswell

Relationship Coach Tip – Long Term Marriage Relationship Success: Different in Brain Than Dating Chemistry

2009-10-24T23:24:00.000-07:00

Intriguingly enough, in long term marriages, where there is long term Being In Love, there is another part of the brain which is involved and must be involved for LONG TERM SUCCESS.

I do not have the brain section TERMINOLOGY in front of me. I’ll be sure to provide that to the group in the future.

The Long Term Success Section for couples In Love for the long haul, this other part of the brain is different than the marvelous toe curling part of the brain happily receiving dopamine from the happy aroused pheromones. As well as a different part of the brain which require NEWNESS least we become – The Worst – bored.

The Long Term Relationship Success part of the brain reads and requires…..

PEACEFUL CALMNESS

Indeed, it is that feeling which is the result of when we fight and struggle to communicate and when we WORK at our marriage and unite as singles into a committed relationship, that true intimacy is achieved. We FEEL cherished, respected, received and loved. We feel safe and secure. This person knows my faults, helps me to continue to grow, AND still loves me. In fact, having been THROUGH fights which became merely miscommunication resolved, our love DEEPENED. We truly KNEW each other and LOVED each other.

Then love becomes a CHOICE not just a sentiment and whimsical feeling of the moment as it is in the ATTRACTION STAGE. Then we choose to love each other, not just when we FELT like it. And then LOVE becomes an action. We LOVE each other. We ACT in LOVING ways and behaviors. Yes, of course, we are still imperfect. Just there is that CALM, that PEACEFULNESS. And it is there in Long Term Successful Marriage relationships.

That is where we can wear absolutely no makeup and he thinks we are utterly beautiful. And we see a man who has courage and diligence. Unlike all the “Real Housewives Of XYZ location” where they must ALWAYS each and every day look unbelievably perfect which is such a huge stress. When the PEACEFUL CALM part kicks in, we can allow that full range of ourselves to show.

INTIMACY

It is only ONE element. The Long Term Successful Marriage relationships ALSO require we continue to feed CHEMISTRY. Which we do with good grooming and behavior and dress which acquentuate the differences between the sexes. The Long Term Successful Marriage relationship also needs injections periodically over a period of extended time of NEWNESS to keep thing vital like new oxygen to the blood stream.

When singles are dating, indeed, all three elements need to be considered:

Attraction – chemistry and passion

Newness – continual learning and stimulation for vitality

Peaceful Calm – true intimacy

When all three elements are present in a courtship, this just might become a wonderful marriage relationship.

Happy Dating and Relationships!

April Braswell

Dating and Relationship Expert, Online Dating Coach

Dating Tips and Advice to Prepare for Romance and LOVE!

2008-11-24T18:22:00.000-08:00

For some great dating tips and advise, to start as an Online Dating Coach and Relationship Coach I inculcate for romance and romantic sex relationships, some of the work which I most recommend for my clients is to first start with their communication and personal magnetism skill set. As we approach Thanksgiving here in the US, this is a great time to practice, practice, practice.

Irresistible Attraction: Secrets of Personal Magnetism

Irresistible Attraction is about becoming our most attractive in our behavior and interactions with others. The internationally knowned author of the best-seller, The Psychology of Persuasion, Influence and Persuasion master Kevin Hogan coauthored this very approachable book with Mary Lee Labay.

I'm kind of laughing here. Personally, whenever I think of this book, I think of it as like, Personal Magnetism and Attractiveness for the Rest of Us. Not quite the guide for idiots or dummies, but still!

Ok, so you are not actually a sought after celebrity movie star, super model or NFL star quarterback? So, you are not a 10 even a 9. Maybe you are a 7, a 6, or even a 4. In Irresistible Attraction, the authors teach you and provide quite a number of examples of behaviors and communications to have with others to increase your attractiveness quotient and to be more successful in dating.

And indeed, the more successful we are in dating, the greater our chances of finding love and creating a really great romantic relationship. I highly recommend this book to my clients to read and practice before heading out on Date0. It will really help you in your conversations to increase your attractiveness to others. And in romance, we all want to be more magnetically attractive, don't we? In which case, yup, go buy this book now.

All the best,

April Braswell
Online Dating Coach, Dating Expert, Romantic Relationship Coach, Romance Coaching

Online Dating Sites Review, Internet Dating Sites Guide

Dating Advice and Tips from your Romance Coach recommends - Create Intimancy with TOUCH

2008-07-18T11:34:00.000-07:00

One of the ways to foster and create true intimacy is with touch.

As a Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, when I am coaching my male clients, I recommend a sensual touch with a lady while you are dating. Initiate touching her softly and in a completely non-sexual way initially. Just touch her forearm or her hand for emphasis during your conversation.

By doing this you are getting her comfortable with YOUR touch.

You are flirting with her with your hands in such a low key manner, she is not even sure quite that you mean it and desire her.

But you do.

You are being subtle.

Flirt with her mind with your touch to awaken her to you.

Enjoy and have fun!

All the best,

April Braswell
Internet Personals Coach, Online Dating Coach

Romance Coach asks, "It's Thursday Night, What're YOUR Plans for the Weekend?"

2008-06-05T21:02:00.000-07:00

As your Romance Coach and Online Dating Coach, I want to ask you...

Hey, it's Thursday night.

Do you have any dates lined up yet for this weekend?

No?

Not 1?

Ladies, gentlemen, it is TIME to GET CRACKING!

Get OUT.

Socialize.

Meet some people.

Go where the crowd includes Men AND Women.

Flirt and have FUN!

And be sure you don't leave without having exchanged some smiles, some flirtatious glances, and some phone numbers!

Enjoy!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Good Grooming and Intimacy

2008-05-30T23:16:00.000-07:00

It's Friday night and it has been a BUSY night.

So I will keep it brief and expand on this idea in the coming blog posts.

Part of what creates intimacy is the ability to get close physically.

To do that and to create the environment where we desire to do that, we need to practice some SUPERB self-grooming.

Showing
Baths

Of course, we do this daily. However, after a long day at the office, it really DOES contribute to a yummy up-close experience to be together to shower or bath again.

The ladies totally get into this. We love to go through our toilet preparation hours before.

Shower.

Powder.

Scented lotion.

Perfume.

The men? Well a second shower can be fabulous and contribute to our DESIRING to be physically close with you.

Cologne
aftershave
yum!

Enjoy!

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Creating Intimacy

2008-05-29T23:27:00.000-07:00

As a Romance Coach with a specialty as an Online Dating Coach, one of the questions I go over with my clients is, "When you say you want a relationship, what do you mean by that? What do you want in that relationship? What does being in a relationship mean to you?"

Indeed, one of the common attributes many of them want is

INTIMACY

You, perhaps, are immediately thinking of sexual intimacy.

And certainly, I hope you do.

Because SEXUAL INTIMACY is essential.

However, there are other aspects to intimacy.

Sexual Intimacy, for example, is actually a subcomponent of communication.

Sexual Intimacy is actually SENSUAL communication.

So, how are your communication skills?

Are you fostering intimacy with how you communicate with your date? With your partner? With your spouse?

Something to think about!

All the best,

April Braswell
Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach

Advice from your Dating Coach - what do you HAVE to have?

2008-05-25T15:57:00.000-07:00

I hear from a number of singles who have NEVER been married that they have a very long laundry list of what they HAVE to have in a relationship.

This can be very romantic, and as Romance Coach with a specialty as an Online Dating Coach, I do encourage my clients to BE ROMANTIC.

However, also keep 2 feet on the ground.

This is not about a weekend fling or a Holiday or Vacation Fling. Those can be perfectly lovely and can help to MOVE us forward energetically in our Quest for Love and Quest for Love Online. However, when we are seeking to create a long term committed relationship which for many might mean marriage, then we need to consider other factors as well.

Your list of what you REALLY HAVE to HAVE will likely actually be relatively short.

One of mine is he has to be a reader. Now, he doesn't have to read as MUCH as I do or even the SAME books (too much sameness in a relationship means there is NO chemistry. Yuck!).

But if you ever see my living room and how I invest a lot of my time, it is in READING.

In order to SHARE LIFE together, we would both need to do that and have ideas to share together and chew on together. Mutually invigorating exchange of ideas. Yum!

What about you?

What is ESSENTIAL for you in a relationship for life?

All the best,

April Braswe

Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach, Internet Dating

She's moving in!

2008-05-20T23:55:00.000-07:00

Yup, my "Success Story" which you can read about at my website, Romance Coach, Online Dating Coach
she is moving in with her intended over the next few weeks.

Praying for all those boxes to be easy to pack and move! You are inspiring me! My clients always inspire me!

All the best,

April Braswell
Easy Dating Tips

Success! My first (almost) Client Engagement! from Online Dating

2008-04-19T17:41:00.000-07:00

I cannot name names, but one dear client emailed me this afternoon that she and her beau are apartment hunting and talking marriage, "and it's all due to YOU that we met!" Now, having a "successful" track record is great. Results are great. Really.

But what I am most delighted about? HER HAPPINESS!

I'm so thrilled and delighted for her. Once anything is really official, I'll blog it here and add something to my website on Online Dating and Romantic Relationship coaching.

Whee!

We've GOT to Stop Meeting Like THIS!

2008-04-16T23:47:00.000-07:00

The last time all of my family was together was 2 yrs ago on my grandmother's deathbed.

Before that was my mother's memorial service.

Now it's for my father's memorial service.

We are ALL saying, "We've GOT to stop meeting like this!"

Yes, in the face of death, we still maintain our sense of humor!

The GOOD news is, the NEXT time we will all be together is for my dear brother's WEDDING!

Yeah!

A HAPPY occasion for us to meet!

As an Online Personals and Online Dating expert and coach, I am so glad that he and she are engaged and happy, and indeed, I used a lot of my relationship coaching skills and communication teaching skills with them for building their relationship and working THROUGH things rather than letting them be the point for ending the relationship/breaking up.

I'm thinking of a number of my friends who are in successful long-term relationships, whether married or not.

And indeed, the greatest indicator for long-term success?

Great communications skills.

Now in that COMMUNICATION, once it is TRUE, it is SO important to say, "I love you."

Right now in this stage of the grief, amongst my siblings we are SO careful to say, "I love you," whenever we sign off with each other, whether in person or over the phone.

In fact, well, you know how even saying, "I love you," can start to get perfunctory?

So, we are PAUSING with each other, "really, you know, I love you." And we get it and we CONNECT.

Because we really want the other to know.

Because you never know when it's going to be the LAST TIME you see them or the LAST TIME you GET to TELL them, "I love you."

So, indeed, like James Taylor sings to us, "Shower the people you love with love. Show them the way you feel."

And we are.

How about you?

Are you telling the people YOU love daily and often, pausing to connect and look them in the eye, "I love you?"

God bless!

April Braswell
Dating Coach, Romance Coach, Relationship Coach, Dating Articles,

Body Language Expert: Sex, Women and the Truth About What Women Think... (Part 1)

2008-04-08T21:34:00.000-07:00

Body Language Expert: Sex, Women and the Truth About What Women Think... (Part 1)

It is so funny when we are blogging in the early days. I posted this. And I have NO idea what my point was. EXCELLENT article, of course,

All the best,

April Braswell
Dating Coach, Romance Coach, Relationship Coach, Dating Articles,

No One Wants to Look Dumb

2008-04-08T21:01:00.000-07:00

MSN's new site, the title got me thinking, "No One Wants to Look Dumb. You see, I live here in Silicon Valley. Can we count the brain power? Can we count the universities? Yup. It is oh-so-definitely part of our corporate image NOT TO LOOK DUMB. And yet... well, it's my male clients who sort of sidle up to me, covert, subliminal... "Ah, how can I avoid looking like an idiot in front of girls?" Many of the really sweet sw engineers are NOT the smoothest guys with women. They work with them and know how to assign trouble tickets and resolve them, but actually conversing romantically with a woman, well, that is a WHOLE other thing. Or as Kevin Hogan would point out, THAT is a whole other CONTEXT!

The other factor on the other side of the equation, there are DA WOMEN. We can SMELL your masculine fear and intimidation, yes, actually 12 feet away. I'm not kidding. It's actually in your pheromone signature. Your being ill-at-ease with women, we can LITERALLY smell it.

I'll continue to post about some ideas for how to BETTER position yourself with women and girls, not JUST to pick them up a la Pick Up Artists (PUAs), but also actually to establish a RELATIONSHIP. Then you could actually get those bed benefits on a regular basis. Or as I like to say, turn off the TV, power down your laptop, and make your OWN porn!

All the best and enjoy!

Dating Coach, Romance Coach, Relationship Coach, Dating Articles,

Freud was Right

2008-04-04T14:57:00.000-07:00

April 3, 2008

All girls are so strongly influenced by their fathers. In my case, I married a dear sweet version of my brother. And today my father, John Y. Barry, died. I'll comment on it more later. This weekend I am introspective. He is why I love to receive Pink Roses. For my 16th birthday, he sent me a dozen pink roses to me at school. I received them in the adminstrative offices. I felt like A PRINCESS. To this day, when men give me beautiful roses, I feel like A PRINCESS! Don't you? Shouldn't every woman? God bless and God speed. April Braswell

Dating Coach, Romance Coach, Relationship Coach, Dating Articles,